


Vroom, Vroom

by khughes830



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: A Little Bit Alexis - Freeform, F/M, It is a BANGER!, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:48:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22453666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khughes830/pseuds/khughes830
Summary: Poorguysheadcanon posted this gem on Tumblr under a video of Annie and Noah from one of the UC&P stops when Noah sang the first verse of A Little Bit Alexis while Annie did the dance:“Patrick doing this at Alexis and Ted’s wedding.  Alexis does the dance and Patrick drunkenly sings the entire song, word for word.  David wants to disappear but he’s also smiling so wide because wow he loves his dumb sister and his dumb husband so much.”
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Theodore "Ted" Mullens/Alexis Rose
Comments: 9
Kudos: 131





	Vroom, Vroom

David leaned back, taking a sip of his champagne, just taking a moment to breathe. He was grateful that Ted waited to propose till after David and Patrick had celebrated their one year anniversary. He bets Patrick had something to do with that, since David had gone on and on about how they are considered newlyweds till they celebrate their first anniversary. Then they had and Ted proposed and here they were 8 months after that, David having returned the favor Alexis had done for them by helping with the wedding. Better than she had, of course ( _ shut up David!)  _ but the day had been perfect and the party was in full swing, drinks flowing.

And his husband was taking full advantage. David loved seeing Patrick let loose like this - laughing louder than normal, giving him more kisses than he typically did in public, dancing. Like actual dancing, not just swaying side to side like he was prone to doing the few times David managed to get him out on a dance floor outside of THEIR wedding reception. He had lost count of how many drinks Patrick was in, but it was fine. David was staying sober to make sure his sister’s day went off without a hitch. 

“My Teddy said you had a big hand in today, David, so thank you.” David turned to see Ted’s mom standing next to him. 

“I’m glad it all turned out. Alexis and I had some… disagreements… about some things…”

“Would we call them disagreements or would we call them knock down, drag outs” Ted chimed in, sliding up next to his mom. 

“That’s a little dramatic, Ted.”

“Yeah. I’m the dramatic one with you and your sister.”

“You’re lucky today is your day or I would be getting really annoyed with you.”

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!” David and Ted whipped their heads around toward the stage where the DJ had been playing music. There stood Alexis, having commandeered the microphone away from the DJ.

“What is she doing?” Ted asked.

“I don’t know! This isn’t on the schedule!” David cried out. He watched as Patrick walked up next to her, his guitar in hand. “What the actual…”

“We have to do this quick before my brother starts to scream about being off schedule” Alexis yelled into the microphone, causing everyone to kind of lean away from her.

“STOP SCREAMING INTO THE MICROPHONE AND GET OFF THE STAGE” David yelled at her. She just waved him off.

“My brother everyone. And this guy right here, is my other brother, Patrick. Most days he’s my favorite brother.”

“I HOPE YOUR STRAIGHTENER BREAKS ON YOUR HONEYMOON!” David yelled from the back. 

Patrick stepped up to the microphone, causing Alexis to step aside. “Ok, ok. Before we all get to witness a classic Rose Sibling altercation, Alexis and I would like to perform something for you all. We’ve been working on it for a few months now. A gift, of sorts.” 

David looked at Ted, who just shook his head and shrugged, as Patrick tuned his guitar. “Are you ready?” Patrick asked, looking over at Alexis. She nodded and Patrick turned back to the crowd. “Let’s do it!” He yelled. The moment Patrick started to play the opening chords, David’s mouth dropped open.

_ I’m a Lamborghini _

_ I’m a Hollywood star _

_ I’m a little bit tipsy _

_ When I drive my car _

“INCORRECT” David cried out, looking over at Ted, who was laughing, wiping his eyes. 

“When did they do this?” Ted asked David, barely being able to breathe while he pushed the words out.

“How the fuck should I know? I didn’t sanction this!”

“Oh my God, she’s doing the choreography” Stevie said, sliding up to them, laughing as well.

_ I’m expensive sushi _

_ I’m a cute huge yacht _

_ I’m a little bit single _

_ Even when I’m not _

_ I’m a little bit Alexis _

_ Oh, I’m a little bit Alexis _

_ LA LA LA LA LA LA LA _

David covered his face with his hands as his sister stepped up to the mic, joining Patrick in the refrain. 

“Just relax, David. Let her have her fun. It’s her wedding. Plus, this is a banger!” Stevie yelled at him, quickly moving toward the stage with Ted hot on her heels. David blew out the breath he had been holding. He wished a hole would open up either where he was currently standing or right under Alexis and Patrick, but he also took a moment to stare at his sister and his husband as they jumped into the second verse. David smiled as Patrick sang  _ I’m a little bit go-girl when I touch myself  _ with all the gusto he used in Cabaret. He laughed as his sister did all the sound effects that went along with the bridge, biting his lip as she got very into the neighs.

_ But now, you’ve got a Alexis _ , Patrick sang loudly

_ Vroom, vroom bitches _ , Alexis yelled. 

David let out a whoop at that point, noticing that everyone in attendance was into it. He may have gotten a little annoyed that she included the  _ Ew, David _ when it was very unnecessary to do so, but the wide smile on Patrick’s face when he met David’s eyes made David not even care. He clapped loudly as they ended on a loud  _ vroom, vroom bitches!”  _

They took a bow and Patrick jumped off the stage, making his way over to David. 

“Look, I know you are probably annoyed that…” but David cut him off, wrapping his arms around Patrick’s shoulders, pressing his lips against his husband’s. Patrick grabbed David’s waist, squeezing him slightly as David scratched his nails through Patrick’s hair. David pulled back after a moment, waggling his eyebrows at Patrick. Patrick wrapped his arms around David, smiling. 

“So not annoyed?”

“Oh. No. Very annoyed. But utterly charmed at how you just went for that.” Patrick shrugged.

David adjusted his arms. “I do have to ask - when in the world did you all come up with that?”

Patrick laughed. “Remember the day you had to go to Thornbridge and Alexis came to help me with all the internet orders, but it ended up raining all day so we got it done really fast and had nothing to do after lunch?”

“So the lesson there is never to go to Thornbridge again. Or if I do, make sure Alexis goes with me instead of staying with you.”

Patrick pressed a kiss to David’s neck. “You aren’t mad.” It was more of a statement than a question. 

David shook his head. “I’m not. I’m glad…” David swallowed the lump in his throat. “It just makes me happy she felt comfortable enough to come ask you to do that with her. Silly enough, she is quite protective over the song.”

“She said if I want to do an encore on our anniversary that she would give consent for the song to be used.”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” David cried, pressing his lips back to Patrick’s. 

  
  
  
  



End file.
